issues
I have unresolved issues with so many people. Not issues meaning an ass kicking I'm owed, though there are probably a few of those as well. Issues meaning the last time I spoke to them wasn't supposed to be last time, and in most cases the ball is in my court. Trouble is it's hard to return calls after 10,20, or 30 years. I just fall out of touch, always have. It's not personal, not intentional but it happens with shocking regularity. I'm not just talking about girlfriends here, in those cases some time and distance are required. Had I stayed in touch with everyone that I cared about, everyone that mattered to me more than I could ever show, my cup would runnith over now. My email, and cell would be so active, and I'd feel a greater connection to this world we live in. I'd be happier and I like to think I'd make those people happier in some way also.
Most of you who read this are exceptions, you've fought through my BS and stayed in touch in spite of my poor correspondence, and I'm very thankful for that.
My excuse? not much of one really. I'm insecure and I'm sure that's part of it, but by no means enough to explain it. In most of these cases it was before email and cell phones, so that figures in a bit I suppose. Mainly it's just a character flaw that I have, though I hope it's better now.
When I've tried to build a bridge with people that I've lost touch with I've been told I made them feel 'blown off, forgotten or 'ignored' which I suppose are all true. Though I never intended that.
The sad part is if I ran into them on the street I'd be so happy to see them, but I somehow doubt the feeling would be mutual. It's sort of like denial I guess. I'm in my own little world which has so little in common with reality. In my world ten years is nothing, like a day to some people.
I'm in danger of sounding like lyrics from 'Fire and Rain' now, so enough already. So if you're out there Steve, Steven, Jennifer, Megan, Amy, Beth, Todd, Walter, Geoff, Jay, Dave, Charles, Dan, Christie, Scott, Pat, Bill...and countless others. I'm sorry, my bad, I'd like a do over.
Que Jason Robards 'goddam regrets!'
I suppose we rarely know when we are speaking to someone for the last time. I'm still hoping for a next time.
R
Most of you who read this are exceptions, you've fought through my BS and stayed in touch in spite of my poor correspondence, and I'm very thankful for that.
My excuse? not much of one really. I'm insecure and I'm sure that's part of it, but by no means enough to explain it. In most of these cases it was before email and cell phones, so that figures in a bit I suppose. Mainly it's just a character flaw that I have, though I hope it's better now.
When I've tried to build a bridge with people that I've lost touch with I've been told I made them feel 'blown off, forgotten or 'ignored' which I suppose are all true. Though I never intended that.
The sad part is if I ran into them on the street I'd be so happy to see them, but I somehow doubt the feeling would be mutual. It's sort of like denial I guess. I'm in my own little world which has so little in common with reality. In my world ten years is nothing, like a day to some people.
I'm in danger of sounding like lyrics from 'Fire and Rain' now, so enough already. So if you're out there Steve, Steven, Jennifer, Megan, Amy, Beth, Todd, Walter, Geoff, Jay, Dave, Charles, Dan, Christie, Scott, Pat, Bill...and countless others. I'm sorry, my bad, I'd like a do over.
Que Jason Robards 'goddam regrets!'
I suppose we rarely know when we are speaking to someone for the last time. I'm still hoping for a next time.
R
posted by Robert_M at 3:04 PM
3 Comments:
I applaud and support any and all efforts to build bridges. What is the worst that could happen? People might say "screw you," and then you are pretty much in the same place you are now. Or, they might NOT say "screw you," and there you go. Bridge built. And Dave is hurling on the lawn on New Year's Eve once again whilst Carla throws her head back and cackles.
People are easy to find in these days of internet technology.
All true, but it's difficult and a little creepy searching for someone by their maiden name. I hear 'screw you' enough in my day to day life, not sure i need to seek it out.
If you email me, I can give you the married names of some people you might like a bridge for.
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